Are you sabotaging yourself as a leader and don’t even know it? According to the author Shirzard Chamine in his New York Times bestselling book, “Positive Intelligence,” we all have mental patterns, called saboteurs. These unconscious negative thought patterns derail us from responding to challenges in a calm, clear-headed and laser-focused manner. Saboteurs cause stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, regret, guilt and unhappiness.
Chamine categorizes saboteurs into 10 main themes. Which one(s) do you identify with the most?
1. The judge is the universal saboteur that effects everyone. It finds faults with self, others and circumstances. It can beat you up repeatedly over your mistakes or shortcomings, warns you obsessively about future risks, and wakes you up in the middle of the night with worry. The judge gets you fixated on what is wrong with others or your life. As a result, your judge undermines your happiness, effectiveness and relationships.
2. The avoider tendency prompts you to dodge difficult and unpleasant tasks and conflicts. It triggers procrastination and makes you downplay or deflect problems.
3. The controller trait is anxiety-based. It causes you to think that you need to take charge by controlling situations and people’s actions. People with this inclination can be intimidating to others and tend to become workaholics.
4. The hyper-achiever is dependent on achievements for self-respect and self-validation. People with this saboteur’s predisposition feel they must be the best at what they do. This leads to unsustainable workaholic tendencies, never feeling they are doing enough and the loss of touch with relationships.
5. The hyper-rational embodies intense focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. Those with hyper-rational traits tend to disregard other people’s emotions. They can be perceived as cold, distant and intellectually arrogant.
6. The hyper-vigilant characteristic exhibits constant intense anxiety about the things that could go wrong. They have an affinity to doubt themselves and others, which leads to chronic second guessing.
7. The pleaser indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others. Because of this strong need to be liked, they can lose sight of their own needs and can become resentful as a result.
8. The restless predisposition is constantly in search of greater excitement in their next activity and exhibit incessant busyness. People with this tendency are easily distracted and do not want to miss out on anything.
9. The stickler displays perfectionism and a need for order that is often taken too far. People with stickler traits hate mistakes and get frustrated with themselves and others for not living up to high standards.
10. The victim saboteur presents emotional, dramatic and temperamental behaviors as a way to gain attention and affection. Those with a victim saboteur tendency are inclined to sulk or withdraw when criticized.
In his book, Chamine shows you how to re-wire the neuropathways in your mind from these negative self-sabotaging patterns to optimal performance using simple and proven neuroscience-based techniques. His researched and tested methods will help you develop command over your own mind, which is the greatest determinant for achieving professional success, improved relationships and happiness.
Pam Solberg-Tapper
Pam Solberg-Tapper, president of Coach for Success Inc., is a Duluth-based executive coach, professional speaker and adventure marathoner. For questions or to submit questions or ideas for future columns, please contact her at pam@coachforsuccess.com or 218-729-0772.